every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize