They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Bring me that man meat
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
