you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
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I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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