How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
