Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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