Do you still have your period?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
