i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
