is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Couch. On fire.
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