Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
