We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
