she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
