i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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