dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
