she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
