once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
