I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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