So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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