These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
