If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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