im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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