I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
