those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
