i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
