i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize