Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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