Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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