Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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