If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize