I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Of course I have a pirate flag
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
