your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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