Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The dick lei will go down in squad history