Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard