Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
