currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
