He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
