Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
