Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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