when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
