I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
