Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
