i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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