im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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