Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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