If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
