The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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