Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
