It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
jump out the window naked night went bad
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
