Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize