I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
