And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
