Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Of course I have a pirate flag
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
