You're so nebulous sometimes
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
