I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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