singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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