I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
