I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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