I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
