now i know why i became what i already was.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
