so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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