Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
