in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
