He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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