it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What a dumb baby whore.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
