Your mouth is God's brothel.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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