Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
