there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
