Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
