Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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