nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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